Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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