just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
