All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
