It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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