You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
