Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My vagina is very pro this idea
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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