why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
