Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Boobs speak an international language.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
That's how pantless uber rides happen
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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