Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
