Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
