margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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