My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
