I want to make a zoo with you.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
