Got a toothbrush?
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
