some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
