Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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