it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
