I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
only if we run a train.
done.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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