What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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