and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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