i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
