READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
