I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
