I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
