2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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