I accidentally burped into my bong.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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