So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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