he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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