it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
