Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
