so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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