guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
this just has baby written all over it
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
