while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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