Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Randomize
