You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
