Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
