why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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