and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
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