i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I believe in your delicious
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
