Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
