Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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