Betty ford says i'm here all night
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
