even my farts smell like vagina
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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