Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
