I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
