So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
