let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
