We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
