Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
