I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
